Dys-FUN-ctional Christmas - 2017 Edition - NSFW

Once again Christmas is knocking on the door, actually rammed into your face if you go into any and I mean any retail store. Make me listen to another version of "Jingle Bells" and I will jingle your bells myself.

The time to be merry just doesn't add up for everyone, so I went on the prowl again to find Christmas songs that are different, off the beaten track, like I did with my Honky Tonk Christmas in 2011 and my first edition of Dys-fun-ctional Christmas two years later.

The animated gif-meme to the right was actually sent to me by a good friend I'm married to and to my astonishment, I actually found the appropriate song to work as a soundtrack. Not sure who is hiding behind the moniker Mrs. Claus, but her demand goes a tad further than to just wanting to kiss Santa under the mistletoe. Not sure if Mrs. Claus, who appears on the "X-RATED XMAS" compilation got her inspiration from the 2003 movie "Bad Santa" starring Billy Bob Thornton and Lauren Graham when she asks him to keep his hat on, while they are bouncing in his car.



From x-rated to G-rated, and 60 odd years back into the past. Not that all old Christmas songs are more innocent.
The recent discussion about "Baby, It's Cold Outside" being a date-rape song may after almost 75 years after its creation and a changing landscape, be eerily true in today's surroundings. In the past, it may have conveyed as another society no-no, that of a woman actually being in charge of her own destiny fighting society no-nos and approaching a man on her own and then having societal doubts as in, a good girl doesn't do this and that she really should leave.
But no, the throwback to older days I'm talking about, brings us to 11-year old Brenda Lee. During her first recording session in July '56 with famous Nashville producer Owen Bradley, she also recorded two Christmas songs, and no, it's not her more famous "Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree" (1958). That Decca peddled her to her fans as Little Brenda Lee, claiming she was only nine, makes "I'm Gonna Lasso Santa Claus" even more innocent.





Watching the new Netflix movie, the weirdly, funny "El Camino Christmas" (3.5 out 5) I was really intrigued by the to me, obscure opening theme,"¿Dónde Está Santa Claus?" while Luke Grimes (as Eric Roth) is driving into town. That ditty, written by George Scheck, Rod Parker, and Al Greiner is sung in the movie by somebody named Cruz Martin. Unfortunately, I could not find either his version or any additional information on that kid that's begging his mom, to tell him where Santa may be.
But I did find the original from 1958, sung by 12-year-old Puerto Rican Augie Rios, managed by songwriter George Scheck. His original 45 on Metro was backed with the not really charming "Ol' Fatso (I Don't Care Who You Are Old Fatso, Get Those Reindeer Off My Roof)." Well, lesson learned as a non-believer you aren't a receiver.

Bing Crosby together with the Andrews Sisters had a huge, seasonal hit with it -  the talk is about the only Hawaiian Christmas song I know, "Mele Kalikimaka." There are quite a number of versions around, I'm not completely sure anymore whose version I heard first when I used to do a Holiday themed radio show some 30 years ago around this time, but it may have been Poi Dog Pondering with the Dirty Dozen Brass Band from a Christmas compilation called "Acoustic Christmas." For this blog, I found this gorgeous live version by roots musician Pokey LaFarge which was recorded on a local St. Louis, Missouri metro train.

Luckenbach, Texas - Christmas

While searching for versions for "Mele Kalikimaka" I also stumbled upon Kacey Musgraves, not only has she her own version of that song, but she also incorporates part of it, in a song where she wishes everyone "A Willie Nice Christmas" together with - you guessed it - the redheaded stranger himself, Willie Nelson. It doesn't really matter if you are in Luckenbach (photo) or in Waikiki, just have a willie willie nice Christmas.

Chicago record label, Bloodshot Records came out with a new compilation this year called "13 DAYS OF XMAS" that features - among 12 other acts - Nashville singer-songwriter Zach Schmidt's "I'm Drunk Again This Christmas." Schmidt told Rolling Stone Country magazine when approached by the label to do a Christmas song: "I immediately thought about my distaste for Christmas and how, for a lot of people, it is often a terrible time of year.  So I decided to write about what I thought was a stereotypical American Christmas: a family who doesn't really care for each other but is there anyway because it is Christmas." As a disclaimer he hopes that mentioning his dad in the song, was just purely for reasons of rhyming and somehow less of meaning in this else autobiographical song.





Joe Pesci as lounge singer Cousin Vinnie just wonders what happens how "fat-fuck" is running his sleigh if there is no snow on the ground.
Until the next time, I have enough obscure Christmas songs to write another installment of "Dys-FUN-ctional Christmas."

By the way and that's not a joke, did you know that there are more babies born in September than in every other month of the year. Do the math. To use Pesci's words: "Get the fuck out of here." Hug your loved ones and have a merry fuckin' Christmas or is it a fuckin' Merry Christmas?

Sources: YouTube; SoundCloud; Spotify; amu communications photo (Luckenbach);

"Pure Country" - Original Soundtrack To Be Released On Vinyl 9/15

For the 25th Anniversary of the movie "PURE COUNTRY," the soundtrack will be released for the first time on vinyl on September 15. George Strait will also incorporate some of the songs featured in the movie in his two Las Vegas shows earlier that month. 



How time flies, in 1992 my former editor, Christine Mäder and I went to Dallas to attend a press junket for the movie release "Pure Country." She was interviewing the main actors for our publication, Country Music, while I was covering it for Swiss Television. Isabel Glasser (Harley Tucker) was charming, Lesley Ann Warren (Lula Rogers) was a blast, we had so many laughs and George Strait (Wyatt "Dusty" Chandler)  was George Strait, slightly uncomfortable with the media thing and actually kinda reliving his movie role in the movie. Too bad, our favorite actor in the movie, Rory Calhoun playing Harley's wry grandfather Ernest, didn't make the junket.



Even though the movie was a commercial flop with just $ 15 million dollars coming in and never saw a world wide release; my TV tapes are still collecting dust somewhere in an archive in Switzerland, the soundtrack did much, much better.



Besides Greatest Hits and other Compilations, "Pure Country" is Strait's most successful album to date, with sales over 6 million units. The latest figures by the RIAA are from 1999, so I'm sure that with digital downloads we are now closer to 7 million. Talking about downloads the tearjerker hit single from the climax of the movie reached number 1 in December of '92. "Cross My Heart" (Steve Dorff, Eric Kaz) has sold almost a million copies per digital downloads since it was made available on that platform, according to Roughstock. Another composition by Dorff, who also was in charge for the whole musical soundtrack, "Heartland," co-written with John Bettis also reached the Top Spot on the Billboard Country Charts. Even though not as hokey as the movie or its main single, "Heartland" did not belong to the best material on the soundtrack, which by the way was the first album by Strait that had Tony Brown as a producer.











The real or should we say pure country song, released as the third single "When Did You Stop Lovin' Me?" by Texan Monty Holmes, who later contributed other hits to Strait, including "Troubadour," reached the top ten, but stalled on #6. But there are other gems on this soundtrack, there is a subtle countrified version of "Last In Love" originally recorded by Nicolette Larson and by co-writer J.D. Souther (together with Glenn Frey) on albums in the late 70s. The western-swing influenced "Overnight Male," first recorded by B.B. Watson, penned by Kim Williams, Ron Harbin, and Richard Fagan, who passed a year ago, made it in the charts, without ever being released as a single. I always thought the Phil Thomas/Hal Newman song "Baby Your Baby" should have been a radio single, advising the guys to better put some lovin' into their relationship. Because if you do it right, "She Lays It All On The Line," that rockabilly tinged tune came from Texas songsmith Clay Blaker and also gave him the title of his 1993 album "LAYING IT ALL ON THE LINE."











"PURE COUNTRY" also features two singles written or co-written by Jim Lauderdale, the beautiful "The King Of Broken Hearts" and the up-tempo "Where The Sidewalk Ends," which both were originally released on Lauderdale's 1991 major debut, the fantastic "PLANET OF LOVE." That first one belongs into the pantheon of country classics, also recorded by Mark Chesnutt and Lee Ann Womack, due to the times, never got the exposure, it really deserves.

My favorite track is probably the remake of an old tune, also recorded by Ernest Tubb and Carl Smith, written by Mel Tillis and Wayne P. Walker, the deliciously sad ballad "Thoughts of a Fool" with its exquisite leading steel guitar part. Not sure which of the three players mentioned in the liner notes actually brings me all that joy. But I guess it's Sonny Garrish over Buddy Emmons (who did it on Tubb's version, which you should check out as well) or Doug Livingston. It's just pure bliss of sadness.







"PURE COUNTRY" Soundtrack - ★★★★/★★★★★ (4 out of 5)



So if you still like vinyl, like some traditional country fans do, this is definitely an album you want to put into your collection. As an extra for the 25th Anniversary, Austin movie theater chain Alamo Drafthouse Cinema will be showing the original movie in its 28 locations across the country.



Sources: Essential Broadcast Media, YouTube, Recollections

Mick Jagger Releases Two New Singles - Proves He Still Matters

Yesterday, he celebrated his 74th birthday, today (7/27) Mike Jagger released two brand new singles repressing the changing political landscape. He again demonstrated that as an "old" man, he can still tell the youngsters how to react and put to music, an engaging form of criticism and be viable not only to contemporary politics but also music. In the year since Brexit and the half-year since the Orange Agent sits in the White House, we should have experienced a bigger criticism from artists abroad and statewide.

In "England Lost!" he takes a football loss of the English national team, which during the whole song evolves from England lost to England's lost. In a great black and white video, featuring Welsh actor Luke Evans, who fears to be followed and starts on a bizarre, running escape through London, the countryside and at the end reaching the ocean to be pulled back by bystanders and told by a little girl to "Pull Yourself Together."

★★★/★★★★★ (3 out of 5)


Jagger also mentioned that he wanted to use UK Rapper Skepta for a version of his "England Lost!" single - he did so, in the lyric video, where he added the moniker "Reimagined" to it

Right from the off when I started writing England Lost, I imagined having a British rapper on the track .. Skepta stepped in at a moments notice and I just loved what he did.



In the email, he mentioned that he started these songs recently and had an urge to publish them, while they still matter

I started writing these two songs a few weeks back and wanted to get them out to you straight away.

While not as poignant in "England Lost!" in "Gotta Get A Grip" he re-emerges as a protest singer, actually pulling himself together. He's lamenting the clowns in government, the constant lies we are fed, the ignorance of the electorate, the shunning of intellectuals, greed, and xenophobia. Sir Mick paints a dark, but a too real picture of the current state of affairs and proves at 74 that he still matters! 

But read for yourself: 

Gotta get a grip
Beat it with a stick
Gotta get a grip
She goin' for the hit
THe world is upside down
Everybody lunatics and clowns
No one speaks the truth
And madhouse runs the town
Well you gotta get a grip
Beat it with a stick
You gotta get a grip

Everybody's stuffing their pockets
Everybody's on the take
The news is all fake
Let 'em eat chicken and let 'em eat steak
Let 'em eat shit, let 'em eat cake
You gotta get a grip
You gotta get a grip
You gotta keep it zipped
And shoot 'em from the hip
Yeah, yeah, you gotta get a grip
Beat it with a stick

I tried diversion and I tried coercion
Mediation and medication
LA culture and aquapuncture
Overeating and sex in meetings
Induced insanity, Christianity
Long walks and fast drives
And wild clubs and low dives
I pushed and I strived
But I can't get you, can't get you
Can't get you out of my mind
Gotta get a grip

Oh you, oh you
Oh you, beat it with a stick
Immigrants are pouring in
Refugees under your skin
Keep 'em under, keep 'em out
Intellectual, shut your mouth
Beat 'em with a stick
Oh you
Gotta get a grip
Gotta get a grip
Chaos crisis instability, ISIS
Lies and scandals, wars and vandals
Metadata scams and policy shams
Put 'em in a slammer
Gotta get a grip
Gotta get a grip
Come on

The song features a heavy, great guitar riff that helps transpond the dark message into an almost positive fighting song. We "Gotta Get A Grip" and fight the demons that are here.

★★★★(★)/★★★★★ (4 ½ out of 5)


Sources: Universal Music, Twitter, YouTube